First things first – COTD stands for Card of the Day. ;D

As for working with Tarot. It’s interesting that you bring this up right now. I have been on the fence about being a professional (or even semi-professional) reader for some time now for many of the reasons you enumerated. After a lot of work, soul searching and conversations with friends and fellow Tarot readers, I’ve come to the conclusion that I should indeed read for others because there are people out there who need my energy.

Not all people seeking readings do need that touchy-feely Cups approach. Many do and when I come across them I can usually sense it and tone myself down accordingly or refer them to another reader. However there are people out there who need a bit more of a Swords/Wands kind of reading that cuts to the truth and through the bullshit.

AT Readers Studio this year I had a fun “a’ha” moment during the foundation reading (the first reading of the event) when my partner turned to me and said “You know you’re an R-rated psychic and you should probably let people know that”. We laughed and I realized she’s right. I’m not going to be everyone’s tastes but there are people out there who can appreciate my style.

As for being a teacher – always a possibility. My rather outgoing personality tends to make me an effective and interesting presenter.

Thank you so much for the feedback. You’ve given me some food for thought.

I was thinking about your thoughts on being a tarot reader. Perhaps your defences as you describe them are what keep you from connecting to querants as you would like? Reading for people requires you to tune in–that can get uncomfortable.

I suppose those of us who are passionate about tarot automatically think we should all be readers, but is it really true? Maybe it’s not for you?

I decided it was not for me other than the occasional reading for a friend or something. A reader has to be a bit of a counsellor to folk and that is not a skill of mine. All that touchy-feely stuff–Cups stuff–just not me.

Is there another way you can use tarot for work? Creative writing and art have always been my way with tarot. Have you ever thought of teaching that? Again though, teaching is something that requires a certain delicacy of opinion and mentoring, which may not be where your gifts lie.

You describe yourself as rather bombastic, in-your-face opinionated, distrustful–all these things carry a lot of energy. I feel powerful energy is a good thing, but it needs the right focus. A lot of people who ask for readings are emotionally hurt or wounded in some way–it requires a soft touch, they can be very needy and clingy some of them.

It seems to me that someone like you who has been involved with tarot for so many years and has a real passion for it, could channel that into work but not necessarily reading. There is no shame in not reading, you know? You seem to be coming to the conclusion that it isn’t quite the right fit for your personality.

So what is the right fit?

You are so right – I do need to fight harder to carve out some time for myself. It can be extremely difficult but I also know it can be done. Reading is and has always been one of my passions in life. The local libraries and I are on a first name basis because I am there on a regular basis. I haven’t read “You Can Heal Your Life” in years. Perhaps it’s time to find it and re-read it. I also want to start focusing a bit more on those “piercing rays of sunlight”. They exists but I sometimes let myself get lost in the darkness.

I’m sorry your dealing with chronic pain issues. That sounds like a daunting challenge and I hope it doesn’t defeat you (at least not too often).

Bees blessings to you (they do have quite the healing mojo in their arsenal) and thanks again. ♡

Caregiving of any sort is draining and very hard work both physically and emotionally. You have to find a bit of time for yourself too. Easier said, I know.

I have been reading and rereading Louise Hay’s book “You Can Heal Your Life” because hopelessness gets me down too. I understand darkness and how it can suck the life out of you, as I have been sidelined by chronic pain for three years.

One thing that gets me out of my head and away from the situation is reading. I get mysteries from the library on bad days and disappear. I also get online and sort out books I really want to read and then get inter-library loans for them. Perhaps you can find a similar oasis?

Remember the bee’s blessings. Just thinking of you.

Thanks again and keep em coming!

Kelley

Love that secret santa story, great idea. It sure is all about love. <3